Mysterious 1954 Lincoln Show Car Reappears

by Tim Howley

Originally published in the March-April 2004 issue of Continental Comments (Issue # 257).

In about 1980, while driving through the Point Loma section of San Diego, I happened on a custom 1954 Lincoln Capri coupe at a service station. I was told that it was originally a 1954 Lincoln factory show car, and I was given the name of the owner who was in the construction business. He had no interest in collector cars, only in selling this Lincoln for an outrageous price, which, as I recall, was something like $10,000. I have since lost his name and address. Now I receive information from Sonny Gray in Houston, Texas, that the car has surfaced and belongs to David Schurmann, also living in Houston. Unfortunately, the car has deteriorated much since I last saw it over 20 years ago.

According to correspondence from Sonny Gray, the car’s VIN plate reads “54WA 5004H#.. .then.. .BS 60A SPECSPEC-K-1-86.” The car came to Texas from San Diego in about 1983, as best as can be determined by a key chain advertisement. A receipt was found for a battery purchased in Arizona in 1983, indicating its final trip east to Texas. Evidently, the car was  abandoned and left derelict in Texas. According to information from the garage/salvage yard seller, the auto was stored in a bam by an older couple, and then eventually moved outside before the building collapsed. The car then sat outside deteriorating for a lengthy period. Then the garage/salvage yard owner bought the car and eventually sold it to David Schurmann.

The car is totally complete and intact, and the body is straight with no rust, except for much surface rust. There are only two dings in the stainless trim. There is no Capri nomenclature on the exterior, only on the instrument panel. Old
Kelsey-Hayes wire wheels and a Continental kit have probably been on the car since new. All the chrome needs replating, including the wire wheels. The car is sadly in need of paint and a new interior. The car does not roll freely, and the engine is seized.

There are quite a few clues that indicate this was a factory customized job for the 1954 show circuit. 1. The factory data plate reads “SPEC/SPEC” in the area indicating “color” and “upholstery” on standard models. 2. All interior metal garnish trim is gold plated. This includes screws for the windshield and back window trim, the trim itself, horn ring, switch surrounds, power window surrounds, step shields, and front seat base, etc. 3. The instrument panel, window arm rests, and wide metal trim between the headliner and side windows are painted a metallic pearl. 4. The upholstery is silk in red and white with gold piping. The white sections have a heavy scroll floral embroidering. The red areas on the seats are pleated with gold piping. The headliner is white silk. 5. The car originally had plush white carpeting. This is evident in the area visible when the front seats are tilted forward for rear passenger entry and exit. The front seat now has an aftermarket seat cover. The rear seat does not have a cover. 6. Door lock mechanisms and striker plates are chrome plated.

Some other indications of the car’s possible show status are the following: the trunk lip at the base has a professionally designed and installed shelf with an opening for the locking mechanism; there is a professionally designed and installed plaque on the area below the left side of the trunk; this is body mounted; the plaque is the Lincoln Knight’s bust within total shields; the design is divided into four sections with a single initial within each section; and the Initials are “S V G M” .

The color is difficult to determine as it is so badly faded and there is so much surface rust. But, it appears that the original color on the firewall was that very rare chartreuse which Lincoln offered in 1953-54. But the bottom of the firewall has been painted black, and the color under the rocker panel moldings appears to be a flat medium green so popular in 1954. Then the entire car was painted a pearlescent white with a green tint, but the only none faded portion of that color is on the underside of the trunk lid. Then the car appears to have been repainted again. The car is heavily undercoated. Recesses around the headlights have been painted body color. The paint is so badly cracked and shrinking it looks like the bottom of a dry lake bed.

A sedan customized something like this was the Maharaja, a 1953 Lincoln Capri done up for Ford’s 50th Anniversary and the 1953 auto shows. That car was painted gold with gold trim, and with an interior not unlike this 1954 Capri coupe. Ford also did up a pearlescent white 1953 Lincoln convertible with gold trim. There were more custom Lincoln show cars in 1955. At the time. Lincoln tended to put special paint and trim jobs on stock Lincolns, and later many of these cars were sold to friends of the Ford Motor Company. Several such cars have appeared in Continental Comments and other publications, but there seems to be no record of this one.

Could this car be a missing 1954 Lincoln-Mercury show car, and, if so, how did it get to San Diego, and then to Texas?

The 1990 Lincoln Town Car – The Inside Story

by Howard Payne

Originally published in the March-April 2004 issue of Continental Comments (Issue # 257).

My involvement with the design development of the 1990 Lincoln Town Car was one of the high points of my design career at Ford Motor Company. After my June, 1956, graduation from The Cleveland Institute of Art, I was hired by Ford Motor Company, and assigned to the Lincoln Studio. My first project was to design a quad headlamp for the Mark II. The Mark II vehicle was later cancelled. Just a few weeks later, I was in the Interior studio and assigned to design the steering wheel for the 1958 Mark III. About a year or so later, John Orfe, a fellow designer, and I convinced management to let us “do our own thing” for the 1961 Lincoln Continental. Our design was well received, but it was not approved.

This was pretty heady stuff for a young designer so fresh from art school. A few years later, found me in Art Querfeld’s Studio working on the Continental Mark III. All were great experiences. It seemed that I just kept coming back to the Lincoln Studio.

In the fall of 1986, Gale Halderman requested my transfer to his Luxury Vehicle Studio, where I was assigned to the Mark VIII, and worked with Dennis Reardon and Rick Wells on a Lincoln show car we called “Slide and Slice”, but that is another story for another time. We were just finishing it for casting it in fiberglass about mid-January. Little did I know as that project was ending, another adventure was about to unfold.

Months earlier, the new 1990 Lincoln Town Car (code named FN-36) design had been approved and was moving into the “feasibility” phase. This phase is where studies are conducted, and necessary changes made to assure the vehicle can, in fact, be built with quality and maintain cost targets. We had watched the progress of the FN-36 from across the studio, and were pleased with the theme as it had all the hallmarks of a sure winner. Final design responsibility rested with Gale Halderman, director of Luxury Vehicle Studio.

The 1989 Town Car had evolved from the original 1980 design, and this series was eating away at Cadillac sales. The new design had to pick up on its predecessor’s success and move it into the ’90’s. It carried on the good looks of Lincoln, with a strong front end, and strong shoulder element running from the front fenders through the doors culminating in the distinctive Lincoln taillamps. It was a simple clean elegant Lincoln identity from every angle. Modem design for “newness” sake was not Gale’s way, and he made sure it would be recognized instantly as a Lincoln.

When the feasibility phase is initiated, the vehicle is turned over to the Body and Assembly Division whose task it is to build it. At this stage, production engineers from the assembly plant, suppliers, and Purchasing were working to make the vehicle perfect and ready for the market. Sometimes minor revisions have to be proposed. For these reasons, the design studio is still involved to assure the original design intent is preserved.

Upon approval of the FN-36 design, a formal event within the company, Ford had several new vehicles in the “pipeline” which all required immediate funding and staffing with feasibility expertise. Adequate staff was unavailable. This forced a decision to ” go outside” the organization and obtain the needed expertise on the open market. The rationale behind this was that a few Ford people could direct scores of other experts, multiplying their talent while saving the Company money and getting the job done, too.

The project was let out for bids to several automotive engineering firms. While not something new to Detroit for Ford, the size of the job to be done with outside help was a first. The decision was made to go with I.A.D. (International Automotive Design) of Worthing, West Sussex, England, just West of Brighton on the South Coast. I.A.D. was not new to the automotive scene, as they had a good reputation, good facilities, and had completed many programs for Rolls Royce and Volvo.

Soon, dozens of Ford people were on their way to England, with assignments of one to two years, long hours, and hard work preparing the new Town Car for “Job 1.” ” Job 1″ is automotive parlance for the first production vehicle of that model series.

Surface digitized drawings and the final clay model of the new FN-36 were prepared and shipped to Worthing. A Design Manager for Interior, a design Manager for Exterior, and a “resident Engineer” also followed the model to England. Almost immediately, problems started. The plane’s landing must have been rough, as the final clay model was broken into more pieces than one can count.

It was then up to I.A.D. to recreate the model using the scanner drawings accompanying the model, with the direction from those sent from the studio assigned to the program. Back in Dearborn, this was a major concern, knowing from experience how difficult it would be to restore a design without changing it, and our Design Management became very nervous.

In mid January, I received a call to come directly to Mr. Halderman’s office. It was late on a Thursday afternoon, and I had no idea why I was being summoned. I remember walking to his office wondering just what the cause was for my being
called.

Once in his office, Gale was direct and to the point. “The FN-36 is in trouble,” he told me. “And it may not make Job 1!” (With federal regulations requiring airbags in 1990 model year, carrying over the old model was not an option.) “If it doesn’t” he went on- “It’s going to cost the Company one million dollars a day until we make Job 1! I’d like you to go over to I.A.D. and take over as Manager of Exterior Design. We’re also sending over a new Interior Design Manager.”

To his credit, he did not elaborate as to what was wrong, what had happened over there, nor what was going to happen. He was all business, “Talk it over with your family first, but” he continued “I must know by tomorrow first thing!” It was obvious to me that Gale was strained and not his normal self.

My wife and I discussed it, and reminded ourselves that our two youngest would both graduate from college in May. We decided we could work it out, albeit with a bit of “pond hopping” on my part, and we did. We knew that if the on-site management was failing, I could do no worse. With 31 years of design experience at Ford, I knew I could do better. The decision seemed simple.

Friday morning, first thing, I reported to Gale’s office. His secretary, with a sweep of her arm, directed me into his inner office. Seated, I told him I was available, I would go. At that, he turned and asked his secretary to connect him with the studio in Worthing. She must have had them on hold, as he immediately started the conversation with the Manager in England without a hello or any pleasantries. He directed the two Managers to, “Be in my office first thing Monday morning!” and the call was ended. Now the urgency began to really sink in.

In short order I was on my way to England, not really knowing how long my presence would be required or exactly what I would find once I was there. However, upon arriving at the Worthing Studio, I was quickly brought up to speed. The studio engineering supervisor/manager Norm Ziegert, a good friend and an excellent engineer, showed me around. I was quite surprised at the number of items that were incomplete, but my biggest surprise was toward the rear of the clay model.

The Town Car used a carryover floorpan from the preceding 1989 model. The floorplan was something you knew you had to live with, as changing it meant developing an all new part which we didn’t have funding, nor time, for. Yet, there on the lower rear quarter panels was the trunk floor protruding through the rear fenders 1 1/2 inches on each side!! Unbelievable! This required top priority and immediate action.

“Norm,” I asked, “why aren’t there any door handles on the model?” His reply only increased my worries. “Well,“ he began, “We’re on design number 20, but still haven’t come up with anything Dearborn will approve.”

At this point I looked down to see if I just might be sinking into the concrete floor! Within two weeks we had an approved door handle design, thanks to long hours with a very talented I.A.D. draftsman. But with the “Cube Review” coming up in just four weeks, I knew we were in deep trouble. Together we started a list of what needed to be done, and prioritized each item. Most of them had four stars. Bumpers, body side moldings, tail lamps, head lamps, vinyl window moldings, grille, it went on and on.

That very first night we worked until 9:00 right along side of the modelers, which I was told they appreciated. I made my own quarter panel templates, went to the board, and quickly surfaced the rear quarters to cover the trunk floor with the required clearances. By 9:00 the next morning we had the rear fenders finished.

A “Cube Review” is an important step in verifying the dimensions of all the parts of the vehicle body. It is conducted on a surface plate. This plate is a very large platform of very thick steel, sometimes solid, that is dimensionally stable. With grid lines etched into the surface, measuring can be highly accurate, which permits verifying if the part will fit the whole. The cube review utilizes a cube or block of highly stable laminated wood with one side duplicating the surface of a section of the vehicle. This surface is developed from the surface drawings which are released to tool the vehicle. A cube or block for a door, a cube for a fender. Slide all the cubes together and you have a glossy black exact representation of the vehicle. With several bright lamps lighting on the surfaces, the highlights, (the reflected light can be checked to ascertain that they flow from one panel to the next. This is the designers’ last chance for any revisions as from these cubes the stamping dies will be cut. The cube review is one more formal event for the Company. This is a highly critical step in the feasibility process, and to fail this deadline can be fatal for a program (not to mention the personnel). From these approved cubes, the stamping dies will be cut.

The cube review would be conducted by Press Patterns in Nuneaton, near Coventry, as they had the contract to fabricate the die models. It was 150 miles to Nuneaton, but with the problems we faced, it might as well have been a million miles away.

Twenty or so Ford B&A engineers and six or so representatives from Ogihara, the Japanese metal stamping company who had the contract to do the sheet metal stamping for the FN-36 were also there.

As soon as the meeting started it was a disaster! People were mumbling and grumbling instead of focusing on the business at hand. Surfaces did not flow from body panel to body panel, the highlights (reflected light) jumped at every joint, doors didn’t match fenders, fender surfaces were lower than the hood or deck (trunk) lid. Good design practice locates the fenders surface 1 to 2 mm. above the hood or deck, so your eye will follow the surface and not look into the opening. The meeting was a very humbling experience. We did not want Dearborn to know what was being shown, yet somehow hoped they would understand what we were up against. Meeting members started to make comments like, “we’ll never make it, we’ll never get it right, what a mess; who allowed this to happen? You are not ready for this review” .

Rather than let the negativism continue and get out of control, Norm and I grabbed white grease pencils and started to  mark the various black cubes where corrections were required. Soon, a more positive air began to develop, solutions were offered, and group effort prevailed, and it continued for the duration of the program.

This was a pivotal point, as now the whole team knew that design had a problem and needed their help. A new attitude grew towards Norm and me, and strange as it may seem, this group was now looking at us to save the program.

I’m convinced that the FN-36 program produced a superior Town Car because of the re-examination of every part of the car. Instinctively, we knew that each and every part had to be re-evaluated and, in most cases, redrawn. Without holding a witch hunt, I think the fault lay with I.A.D. employing young inexperienced CADCAM draftspeople who had yet to master the basics. Always put the adjoining parts on the same drawing, insuring the pieces join and match. All surfaces must accelerate into the next surface, thus avoiding break lines and tangent lines in the surface. Always compare your drawings by overlaying the ‘release’ drawing (black line) to the scanner drawing from the studio (red line) to insure design intent is maintained. The draftsmen did not understand that the designer may put a twist in a body line for a reason, they just considered it a mistake and corrected it.

The second area of responsibility falls to the on site design management effort, as someone simply just was not watching the shop. At this point in developing a vehicle it is a cooperative effort, Design (Styling) , Engineering, Body and Assembly, and the Suppliers.

We found the headlamp and tail lamp frames were cocked, not level with the world. Grille bars, for example, were all drawn parallel, not splayed out to look parallel. I’m convinced we caught all the errors in a timely manner, but the pressure was constant. It was about this time that I became aware of five or six of the more knowledgeable IAD engineers who would come to me and ask to speak in private. Then, a suggestion would be made that I look at a certain drawing—for instance, the deck lid lock surface in relation to the latch mechanism. Sure enough, there would be a problem.

After six months Norm and I returned to the States and our previous assignments. However, I continued to fly to the UK and Worthing every two or three weeks and stay as needed. I’d check drawings, meet with part suppliers, and attend B&A meetings. When back in Dearborn, Norm and I started work on the 1991 model bumpers and body side moldings, while trying to keep a distant eye on the FN-36 in the U.K.

Design intent was to have window moldings that were as smooth as possible, for the most flush condition possible. The molding supplier said they could only manufacture them with a vulcanized patch in the corners. This being a new design, a new direction for window design and construction, you find you must listen to the guy who is going to make it. Still I was not happy with the window moldings with the 3 to 3 millimeter lumps in each corner. The new Taurus and Sable were still quite new, and two of them were in the hallway just outside of the studio. For some reason, I decided to examine them. One had the required patches (it was built in Chicago) while the other had the smooth surface we desired (it was built in Atlanta), but both were from the same manufacturer. We set up a meeting, and we got smooth moldings, but no apology from the supplier. Why that company’s representative did not go the extra mile for a vehicle of the class of the Town Car and make sure it maintained the design intent I’ll never know.

Some readers may be wondering why a vinyl roof option was not offered. We designed one, and Arvin Industries in Columbus, Indiana, was to produce them. I thought it was a good looking option, not my cup of tea, but it looked good. It was a three piece design with appliques on each rear door and a cap on the roof. B&A assembled one on a prototype with the roof option in silver vinyl and installed on a maroon body (that combination looked horrid). Someone parked it in the Design Center courtyard shortly before Lew Veraldi, vice president of Product Development, walked across the courtyard with a cadre of assistants close behind. I’m told he stopped, looked at the FN-36, studied it and then announced, “I don’t want to see a Town Car with a vinyl roof.” The next thing we knew there was no vinyl roof option. It even  disappeared from the product assumption book, which outlines each and every feature for the vehicle. Lincoln lost control of the vinyl roof design, and a sizeable profit went to the dealers who did it themselves, sometimes not too wisely.

There is one more story readers may not know about: the Lincoln- Zephyr touring sedan. IAD, trying to improve relations with Ford and create some more income, came up with the Zephyr. They directed their designers to customize a Town Car prototype, to develop a Touring Sedan, and then send it over for our approval. It was not a design success. Gale proposed that I do some sketches showing IAD what should be done to improve the appearance. The moldings were crude, tail lamps and headlamps were devoid of any detail, and the front and rear did not say “Lincoln.” We made up a leather portfolio containing my sketches, and both it and the Sedan were returned to IAD never to be seen nor heard of again.

To the credit of everyone who worked on the FN-36, the Town Car was an instant hit in the marketplace (our court of approval) sales zoomed, and it was awarded the Motor Trend Car o f the Year for 1990.1 will always be proud of the 1990 Town Car, an elegant luxury vehicle.

HOWARD PAYNE PROFILE

Howard Payne was raised in Goshen, Indiana, and discovered his automotive interest when he built a ’32 Ford High Boy in 1950. Displaying his artistic talent caused relatives to send him a news article about George Walker an alumnus of the Cleveland Institute of Art who was heading Design at Ford Motor Company. Payne applied to CIA and was accepted. The summer after his third year, Joe Oros hired him as an intern in Alex Tremulis’ Advanced Studio, and he was offered a job at Ford when he graduated.

In 1956, he started his design career in John Najar’s Lincoln Exterior Studio, and then was rotated to the interior studio working on the 1958 Lincoln and Continental. Rotated back to the exterior group he then worked on Rulo Conrad’s Lincoln Envoy. Unhappy with the direction the studio was taking on the 1961 Lincolns he and John Orfe, convinced Najar and John  Reinhart to allow them to use the former lunch room to design and build a 1961 proposal which was well received by management.

Upon completion of the Continental proposal Payne was transferred to the Mercury studio where he was assigned the 1963 Mercury Marauder show car. Don DeLaRossa then had Payne moved to the Lincoln studio again where he worked on John Aiken’s 1966 Lincoln Continental, Then a transfer found him working on the Mark III in Art Querfeld’s studio, and then a move to Ford interior studio where he designed the 1972 Thunderbird instrument panel which was then shared with the Mark IV. Payne was responsible for designing the interior of the infamous “Anaheim Buck” which became the Mustang 11.

Promoted, he was then assigned to an advanced studio working on the ‘Bobcat’, ‘Fox’, and ‘Panther’ programs. An assignment in international studio led to his designing the Ford Probe II interior, and the Lincoln Concept 100. After a stint in the Koln Germany studios working on a Fiesta for Bob Lutz, Payne was transferred to Gale Halderman’s Luxury Vehicle studio. There he was assigned to the Mark VIII group, and was one of the three designers on the Lincoln,” Slide and Slice” . After his assignment on the 1990 Town Car he designed the Mark VII 1/2, and worked on the Mark VIII, before moving to the Color and Trim studios where he had Color Development and Color and Trim Design for Trucks and small Cars. Payne retired in January of 1997 after almost 41 years at Ford Motor Company Design.

Reviewing and Road Testing the 1977 Lincoln Versailles

Originally published in the July/August 2009 issue of Continental Comments (Issue # 289).

Seldom has a new American car been so favorably reviewed by the motoring press only to bomb so thoroughly in the marketplace. At least a dozen magazines raved about the new baby Lincoln that offered buyers a smaller luxury sedan featuring better drivability and greater handling ease. The promise of the new domestically produced small luxury car with a Detroit birthplace was already assured by the Cadillac Seville which successfully preceded it. The Versailles is based on the proven Granada/Monarch unitized body while the Seville started with the Cheverolet Nova unitized body. Motor Trend liked to compare the Versailles with the Seville. Other magazines liked to add a Chrysler LeBaron comparison. The posh LeBaron owed its origins to the Dodge Volare /Aspen series.

Car & Driver took on the Mercedes stating that “Most Detroit engineers are aghast at the head on assault most Mercedes products make on the senses – all that tire noise, mechanical thrash, expressway tug and nasty, unwanted tire feedback. In contrast, the American tradition is based on a bedrock of silence, insulation, and isolation. Detroit builds the quietest, smoothest riding automobiles in the world.” Car & Driver went on to describe a rather complicated relationship between the Seville and Mercedes. It then added that the Versailles “doesn’t stray from the mainstream of Detroit thinking. Lincoln chose to improve a widely acceptable automobile, the Mercury Monarch to a degree associated with luxury cars. The Versailles is really a quieter, more luxurious Monarch – and that is its strength.” Car and Driver stated that the LeBaron is caught somewhere between the extremes of the Seville and Versailles in terms of handling and riding quality. All magazines covering the Versailles went into great detail about how Lincoln engineers made the Versailles feel, ride, and sound like a luxury car. There was careful mating, matching and balancing of driveline components. A double-cardan universal joint was used between the driveshaft and rear axle. Rear brake discs, standard, were indexed to the rear axle shaft flanges in such a way as to assure best overall balance.

They stated. “The whole driving experience can be pinned down to one word – plush. The ride is super quiet and irons out small bumps you don’t really feel in other cars…Power steering is light and relatively dead feeling, but perhaps it does the job just a little too well because you don’t have a clue about what’s going on in the real world where the tires meet the pavement…It was possible to wag the tail without trying hard and the car didn’t tell us where it was going until it had already gone…the power brakes aren’t grabby like those of yore, but they appreciate a light and controlled toe.”

Mechanix Illustrated tested a Versailles with the 351 cid V-8 which was the only engine offered in 1977 in most of the country. The 302 was offered only in California and high altitude areas. They wrote, “Acceleration is not all bad. A neck snapper it is not, but it does get out of its own way with 0-60 in the low 12s and a 15.5 second quarter mile. Zero to 80 took 23.5 seconds and there was obviously more on tap.” This was the one and only prototype car and they did not want to pile it into a snowbank or test the car for top speed.

Road Test did 0-60 in 11.3 seconds with a 351 equipped Versailles and got through a quarter mile in 18.4 seconds. Their fuel economy was in the 13-15 mpg range. They wrote, “Handling? Not good, because what all those soft rubber suspension bushings get you, along with a soft ride, is suspension deflection, which means that because of all those soft pieces the suspension parts don’t necessarily have to be pointing in the same direction you intend. The car is a real handful to drive briskly, with loads of understeer.”

Motor Trend drove a Wedgewood Blue Versailles from the assembly plant in Dearborn to Los Angeles, the longest distance road tested by any of the publications reviewing the car.

Collectible Automobile reviewed the Versailles in their October, 1987 issue, ten years after the car was introduced. This gave them the opportunity to chronicle the car’s lack of success which the other magazines were unable to do. The car was reviewed in their Cheap Wheels section where they referred to it time and again as a gussied up Monarch, a “Meticulously Manufactured Monarch” they called it.

Like many of the publications ten years earlier Collectible Automobile pretty much followed Lincoln’s press releases for the car. They concluded that the interior was probably the most impressive feature of the junior Lincoln. They referred to Paul Woudenberg’s book on Lincoln values which stated that “The equipment on the Versailles was lavish and, in fact, a virtual test bed for everything that the Lincoln-Mercury Division offered”.

Discussing Versailles production, Automobile Quarterly wrote, “In spite of late introduction Lincoln built 15,434 Versailles for the 1977 model year, about one third the number of Cadillac Sevilles built for the full year – a respectable showing… Production, however, skidded to 8,931 units (for 1978) while Seville output increased smartly to 56,985.”

Collectible Automobile blamed the dismal 1978 production figure on the fact that the Versailles looked too much like the Mercury Monarch which was sold in the same showrooms at roughly one third the price.

The magazine discussed the roofline styling change for 1979 which they contended helped bring production up to 21,078.

The year 1979 brought the Iranian revolution, another fuel crisis, more inflation, a very bad year for the industry as a  whole, the new downsized Continental, downsized Lincolns across the board, and a mere 4,784 Versailles produced as a result of it all.

Collectible Automobile noted that by 1987 Versailles were selling as used cars for as little as $1,500, commenting that “For a Cheap Wheels driver they have much to offer: an extremely high level of luxury, good ride, extreme quiet, decent acceleration (0-60 mph in about 12-13 seconds), and the looks of a Lincoln on a reasonably nimble chassis.”

Time has not been kind to the Versailles. They were driven to death and most did not last more than 10 years. For whatever reason, the engines tended to go out at around 100,000 miles. Then the Versailles became coveted by hot rodders for their brakes, suspensions, and rear ends. It is hard to find a good one now, although prices have not skyrocketed in recent years like the Continental Mark Vs of the same vintage. The old Monarch/Granada stigma hangs on 30 years and more after the cars were built.

Nonetheless, some LCOC members love them and swear by them, not at them. Two Versailles were entered at the 2009 Mid-America National Meet in Salado, Texas, and one more showed up at the 2009 Western National Meet in Reno, Nevada. Viva LaFrance. Viva Versailles!

You’ve Really Changed

by Glenn Kramer

Originally published in the July/August 2009 issue of Continental Comments (Issue # 289).

I don’t know when it started. Maybe it was Mrs. Klecka, the rich lady down the block who had a ’49 Cosmopolitan. Or, the Popular Mechanics ‘Tact Book of 1953 Cars” that I got for being a good boy at the dentist. It had a beautiful Capri  convertible as well as a performance comparison of the ’52 vs. ’53 (I loved the huge taillights). Anyway, my obsession with Lincolns started early and manifested often.

When I was 18 (1965), it was time to get my first car. While most of my contemporaries were lusting after hot Chevvies and Fords, I wanted a Lincoln. With a budget that topped out at $600, my choices were, uh, limited. Without describing the gut wrenching angst that accompanied the search for a ’58 or maybe a ’59 convertible, I finally spotted a ’59 on Easter Sunday in downtown Baltimore. I immediately signaled the driver, a black man, to pull over. Remember the year. He thought I was a cop. Hilarity ensued.

Finally, I made an offer. He accepted. A week later, accompanied by my sister, who lent me some of the money, I picked it up. Amos, the seller, shook hands, smiled and said, “I promise you nothing but grief’. Wow, a prophet. An accurate one. The car was Earl Sheib light blue, with black leather. Despite the endless repairs (two transmissions, u-joints, fuel tank, fuel pump, water pump, mufflers, recaps, etc.) that kept me well under the poverty level through college, I LOVED it. It was fast, 0-60 in under 9 seconds. Maybe that helps to explain the two transmissions. After three years of service, it finally died when a wheel bearing seized up on the way back to the naval base at Norfolk. It limped back to Baltimore and was parked in front of Dad’s house. He hated the car and now got to look at it daily.

Meanwhile, I found a ’60 coupe, perfect, 50,000 miles, white with tan leather, a/c, power lube, it had everything. The price? $600. My wife borrowed most of the money from my grandmother and wired it to me. I persuaded her to get on the bus to join me for the weekend ride home. Reluctantly, she agreed. In the ensuing few days, I discovered that the generator was fried. Plus, it was an expensive Delco, used on a few a/c equipped ‘60s. No matter, I could manage the 250 mile drive on the battery, if I was careful. I picked her up Friday afternoon at the bus station and she admitted that the car was beautiful. I said, “Let’s go!” I tore out and got on the road. It was warm and she wondered about the a/c. I commented that, with the breezeway window, you hardly needed it. The first clouds of doubt crossed her previously unwrinkled face. We got to Richmond and, since she hadn’t eaten since morning and we were retracing her route, dinner was a must. Unfortunately, dinner would eat into daylight. I knew a restaurant that would be just perfect. It was next to an Esso station. I gallantly dropped her off at the door, waited until she went in and left the car at the station with instructions to charge the hell out of the battery. After dinner, I got the car, met her at the door and continued on. As dusk became night, she wondered why I didn’t turn on the lights. Eventually, I did. We made it to the house in Baltimore (thank God for 90 pound batteries) and went in to see the folks. I told dad to look out the window. There were two of them. He was not thrilled.

The point is that I loved both cars. Dating in the ’59 Mark IV, touring in the ’60 Mark V, remembering the first time I used the floor mounted signal seeker to find a fresh station while keeping my arm around my date (NHTSA be damned). They were great, flawed, memorable cars.

I’ve had several terrific cars since, ’69 sedan, Mark VII LSC, 12 cylinder BMWs, Eldorado convertibles, which brings us up to the present, 40 years later. I now own…a Mark III and a Mark V. Admittedly they are newer, a ’70 and a ’79, but they are very similar in concept. The Mark III, like the old Mark IV is fast and a little raucous. The Mark V Collector’s, like the older ’60 coupe, is slower and more luxurious. One other thing is similar.. .gas mileage. It’s the decimal point in the price that’s changed. Now that I’m in my 60s, I guess it’s becoming obvious that this focus must be a trend. Lincolns, you never get over your first love.

Glenn’s 1979 Mark V and 1970 Mark III side by side today.

The Lincoln hearse above is an Eagle.

Originally published in the March/April 2008 issue of Continental Comments (Issue # 281).

If you must go the only way to go is in a Lincoln.  Gregg Merksamer, Warwick, New York, and a member of the Professional Car Society sends us these photos of Lincoln funeral cars past and present.

[Below] is a story on Rick Franklin’s 1986 Lincoln hearse, which to the best of our knowledge is the only known Lincoln hearse to be entered at an LCOC National Meet.

Rick Franklin’s 1986 Lincoln Hearse

By Digger O’Dell

Hoe there Riley, it is I.  It is I, indeed, Digby O’Dell, the friendly undertaker.  You can just call me “Digger” for short.  You’re looking fine, very natural.

I had such a wonderful time last summer at the Annual Wester Meeting of the Lincoln and Continental Owner’s Club in Federal Way, Washington.

I adore this part of the country. Usually gray and gloomy, cold and drizzly perfect for people in my profession. But this time the skies were slightly warm and  sunny, not exactly good for my business.

Anyway, among the vehicles  entered was a 1986 Lincoln Town Car  hearse owned by Rick Franklin of Bellevue , Washington, just around the corner  from my establishment. Rick and I both also belong to the Professional Vehicle Society, a lively group dedicated to the preserva­tion of funeral hearses and ambulances. This particular vehicle is a Sayer and Scovill funeral coach.  I am told  it is one  of 14 Lincoln funeral cars built by Sand S in 1986 . Rick  purchased  the vehicle from a livery service in Wisconsin . He was told it had three previous owners . The vehicle had 75,000 miles when Rick purchased it. Now the vehicle ha s 97,000 miles. Like me, it has covered a lot of ground.

Being a mid western vehicle, it has a lit­tle rust, which  I  personally find quite appropriate , but judges might be morti­fied. Mechanically, the hearse  is as sound as Grant’s Tomb. I would not be afraid to get in that hearse and drive to my favorite tourist attraction in the Los Angeles area , Forest Lawn.

Rick has not had to spend a lot of money on this one, or put it another way, he is not buried in it.  He claims he gets up to 21 miles per gallon on the highway using cruise control and keeping it under 70.  It is a heavy vehicle weighing close to 6,000 pounds not counting the occupant in the rear.

Rick has named the vehicle Mortitia.  I have a daughter of the same name, and a son who we names Mossbank.  

Ahh, how my wife Crypteldia would love driving such a vehicle to the annual gathering of the U.E.P.B.L.A.L.L.A.  You see that stands for the “Undertakers Embalmers and Pall Bearers Live and Let Live Association”.  Another lively group of which I am a proud member.

I understand that the LCOC is planning a number of tours for 2008.  I must remind them to be sure to turn on their lights.  Well, Cheerio, I’d better be shoveling off!

Editor’s Note:  For those too young to remember the days of radio, Digby O’Dell was a popular character on  the  program The Life of Riley in the forties. William Bendix played Riley and John  Brown played Digger O’Dell and also Riley’s neighbor Gillis. Digger came on to the music of The Funeral March, and always started out with his famous entrance, “Hoe there Riley, it is I.  It  is I, indeed, Digby O’ Dell, the friendly undertaker. You’re looking fine, very  natural.”   When  he would fix Riley ‘s problem Riley would say, “Digger you’ve just added 10 years to my life and Digger would answer, “Well then you don’t need me.”

Digger even appeared in the one Life of Riley movie where he was digging a six foot hole at the beach.  He told Riley he was enjoying his favorite past time, digging for clams.