You’ve Really Changed

by Glenn Kramer

Originally published in the July/August 2009 issue of Continental Comments (Issue # 289).

I don’t know when it started. Maybe it was Mrs. Klecka, the rich lady down the block who had a ’49 Cosmopolitan. Or, the Popular Mechanics ‘Tact Book of 1953 Cars” that I got for being a good boy at the dentist. It had a beautiful Capri  convertible as well as a performance comparison of the ’52 vs. ’53 (I loved the huge taillights). Anyway, my obsession with Lincolns started early and manifested often.

When I was 18 (1965), it was time to get my first car. While most of my contemporaries were lusting after hot Chevvies and Fords, I wanted a Lincoln. With a budget that topped out at $600, my choices were, uh, limited. Without describing the gut wrenching angst that accompanied the search for a ’58 or maybe a ’59 convertible, I finally spotted a ’59 on Easter Sunday in downtown Baltimore. I immediately signaled the driver, a black man, to pull over. Remember the year. He thought I was a cop. Hilarity ensued.

Finally, I made an offer. He accepted. A week later, accompanied by my sister, who lent me some of the money, I picked it up. Amos, the seller, shook hands, smiled and said, “I promise you nothing but grief’. Wow, a prophet. An accurate one. The car was Earl Sheib light blue, with black leather. Despite the endless repairs (two transmissions, u-joints, fuel tank, fuel pump, water pump, mufflers, recaps, etc.) that kept me well under the poverty level through college, I LOVED it. It was fast, 0-60 in under 9 seconds. Maybe that helps to explain the two transmissions. After three years of service, it finally died when a wheel bearing seized up on the way back to the naval base at Norfolk. It limped back to Baltimore and was parked in front of Dad’s house. He hated the car and now got to look at it daily.

Meanwhile, I found a ’60 coupe, perfect, 50,000 miles, white with tan leather, a/c, power lube, it had everything. The price? $600. My wife borrowed most of the money from my grandmother and wired it to me. I persuaded her to get on the bus to join me for the weekend ride home. Reluctantly, she agreed. In the ensuing few days, I discovered that the generator was fried. Plus, it was an expensive Delco, used on a few a/c equipped ‘60s. No matter, I could manage the 250 mile drive on the battery, if I was careful. I picked her up Friday afternoon at the bus station and she admitted that the car was beautiful. I said, “Let’s go!” I tore out and got on the road. It was warm and she wondered about the a/c. I commented that, with the breezeway window, you hardly needed it. The first clouds of doubt crossed her previously unwrinkled face. We got to Richmond and, since she hadn’t eaten since morning and we were retracing her route, dinner was a must. Unfortunately, dinner would eat into daylight. I knew a restaurant that would be just perfect. It was next to an Esso station. I gallantly dropped her off at the door, waited until she went in and left the car at the station with instructions to charge the hell out of the battery. After dinner, I got the car, met her at the door and continued on. As dusk became night, she wondered why I didn’t turn on the lights. Eventually, I did. We made it to the house in Baltimore (thank God for 90 pound batteries) and went in to see the folks. I told dad to look out the window. There were two of them. He was not thrilled.

The point is that I loved both cars. Dating in the ’59 Mark IV, touring in the ’60 Mark V, remembering the first time I used the floor mounted signal seeker to find a fresh station while keeping my arm around my date (NHTSA be damned). They were great, flawed, memorable cars.

I’ve had several terrific cars since, ’69 sedan, Mark VII LSC, 12 cylinder BMWs, Eldorado convertibles, which brings us up to the present, 40 years later. I now own…a Mark III and a Mark V. Admittedly they are newer, a ’70 and a ’79, but they are very similar in concept. The Mark III, like the old Mark IV is fast and a little raucous. The Mark V Collector’s, like the older ’60 coupe, is slower and more luxurious. One other thing is similar.. .gas mileage. It’s the decimal point in the price that’s changed. Now that I’m in my 60s, I guess it’s becoming obvious that this focus must be a trend. Lincolns, you never get over your first love.

Glenn’s 1979 Mark V and 1970 Mark III side by side today.

 

The Lincoln hearse above is an Eagle.

Originally published in the March/April 2008 issue of Continental Comments (Issue # 281).

If you must go the only way to go is in a Lincoln.  Gregg Merksamer, Warwick, New York, and a member of the Professional Car Society sends us these photos of Lincoln funeral cars past and present.

[Below] is a story on Rick Franklin’s 1986 Lincoln hearse, which to the best of our knowledge is the only known Lincoln hearse to be entered at an LCOC National Meet.

Rick Franklin’s 1986 Lincoln Hearse

By Digger O’Dell

Hoe there Riley, it is I.  It is I, indeed, Digby O’Dell, the friendly undertaker.  You can just call me “Digger” for short.  You’re looking fine, very natural.

I had such a wonderful time last summer at the Annual Wester Meeting of the Lincoln and Continental Owner’s Club in Federal Way, Washington.

I adore this part of the country. Usually gray and gloomy, cold and drizzly perfect for people in my profession. But this time the skies were slightly warm and  sunny, not exactly good for my business.

Anyway, among the vehicles  entered was a 1986 Lincoln Town Car  hearse owned by Rick Franklin of Bellevue , Washington, just around the corner  from my establishment. Rick and I both also belong to the Professional Vehicle Society, a lively group dedicated to the preserva­tion of funeral hearses and ambulances. This particular vehicle is a Sayer and Scovill funeral coach.  I am told  it is one  of 14 Lincoln funeral cars built by Sand S in 1986 . Rick  purchased  the vehicle from a livery service in Wisconsin . He was told it had three previous owners . The vehicle had 75,000 miles when Rick purchased it. Now the vehicle ha s 97,000 miles. Like me, it has covered a lot of ground.

Being a mid western vehicle, it has a lit­tle rust, which  I  personally find quite appropriate , but judges might be morti­fied. Mechanically, the hearse  is as sound as Grant’s Tomb. I would not be afraid to get in that hearse and drive to my favorite tourist attraction in the Los Angeles area , Forest Lawn.

Rick has not had to spend a lot of money on this one, or put it another way, he is not buried in it.  He claims he gets up to 21 miles per gallon on the highway using cruise control and keeping it under 70.  It is a heavy vehicle weighing close to 6,000 pounds not counting the occupant in the rear.

Rick has named the vehicle Mortitia.  I have a daughter of the same name, and a son who we names Mossbank.  

Ahh, how my wife Crypteldia would love driving such a vehicle to the annual gathering of the U.E.P.B.L.A.L.L.A.  You see that stands for the “Undertakers Embalmers and Pall Bearers Live and Let Live Association”.  Another lively group of which I am a proud member.

I understand that the LCOC is planning a number of tours for 2008.  I must remind them to be sure to turn on their lights.  Well, Cheerio, I’d better be shoveling off!

Editor’s Note:  For those too young to remember the days of radio, Digby O’Dell was a popular character on  the  program The Life of Riley in the forties. William Bendix played Riley and John  Brown played Digger O’Dell and also Riley’s neighbor Gillis. Digger came on to the music of The Funeral March, and always started out with his famous entrance, “Hoe there Riley, it is I.  It  is I, indeed, Digby O’ Dell, the friendly undertaker. You’re looking fine, very  natural.”   When  he would fix Riley ‘s problem Riley would say, “Digger you’ve just added 10 years to my life and Digger would answer, “Well then you don’t need me.”

Digger even appeared in the one Life of Riley movie where he was digging a six foot hole at the beach.  He told Riley he was enjoying his favorite past time, digging for clams.

The Stormy Photography of John Walcek

Originally published in the March/April 2008 issue of Continental Comments (Issue # 281).

Others would consider a thunderstorm a reason to put the cameras away and run for cover.  LCOC photographer John Walcek found a storm at the 2007 Mid-America National Meet an opportunity.  The storm occurred during the barbecue buffet in the tent at the Westin Hotel.  The background is the lake and fountain at the hotel.